Best practice coaching

Oct 04 2011
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I have always been a perfectionist and in thirst of more knowledge. Last year, while I was accomplishing my Diploma as a Practitioner Coach, I had this urge and anxiety to know about all the existing coaching tools on the market. I am always striving for perfection with whatever I do. I still smile today hearing my coach asking me at that time: ‘When is it going to be perfect enough for you, Maya?’.

So, this was my core work in becoming a coach, aligning my outside confidence with my inside confidence, trusting my inner resources and listening to my intuition. My first experiences in coaching were shaped by a need to fix, come with solutions for the client. With time and experience, I realized that I could have all the tools in the world and I can try all the techniques in the world but all what is needed is my presence to my client. Suddenly the process was flowing naturally, my natural self kicked in, I felt at ease within my skin, my style and my whole being while being present and ‘dancing’ with my client.

My best practice in coaching today is about being ‘present’ in the moment, present to my client in every second of our session, present to his body language, to his language, to his story, to his feelings, to his emotions, present to a point where I am not existing but through him/her and seeing the world through their eyes.

In general understanding, the presence still a very ‘strange’ practice, it come across as a very easy and passive practice with the client. But actually it is the most difficult practice to cultivate on a daily base. As human beings we are born with beautiful minds, the most powerful and tricky ones. I am amazed on a daily based by our manipulative minds, I am amazed by this little internal voices that keep interpreting, making stories and repeating negative thoughts, shaping our believes and lives forever.

What Best Practice Coaching – or presence – means to me

For me it takes a dedicated commitment and daily discipline to practice presence.  How do I do it? When my internal voices – my so-called “little children”- kick in loudly, I am aware of them; I acknowledge them; I listen to them and embrace them; I calm down their fears and insecurities; I bring them to reality and invite them to be present with me in the moment. Only then there’s an amazing feeling of calmness, stillness, and presence.

To say that I am in a permanent state of presence would be quite pretentious. We have a saying in French that says: ‘Try to chase away your natural ways, it will come back galloping.’ As a human being we are born with busy minds, so I accept it but I also make a choice of educating my mind. Therefore my days start with a 1-minute breathing practice where I consciously call in my body, mind and soul to the present moment and for the day and I repeat it as many times it is needed during the day.

My presence is my best practice for myself as a coach as well as in my private life, and it is my gift for my clients.

This article was originally published here, on Comensa.org.za.

1 comment

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    May 11, 2013 11:29

    Dear Maya, we are both on the current Executive Coaching program and I love researching what others do and their journey in getting there. Thank you for openness and sharing above which has also provided me some good ideas relating to the very busy and constant chatter in my ‘beautiful’ mind. Have a lovely day. Karin

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