The balance in an un-balanced life

Aug 15 2010
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When I saw a call for an article about ‘balance’, I had hesitations to write as English is not my mother tongue and I am not ‘a coach’ with so many years of experience but the need to share my insight with you was stronger and here I am ‘daring’.

My entire life I have been striving for balance. Funny enough that Libra is my astrological sign and I always thought that maybe it has to do with it. My search for balance was a daily goal as I lived more often in extremes. My extremes (too much or too little) translated in relationships, in emotions, in work, in lifestyle, in leisure. My extremes were also synonyms of discomfort, pain, stress, in one word ‘unbalance’ in my life.

This was my dilemma, I looked for balance and I lived in extremes, what an irony! Until the day I had an insight when looking at the Ocean. My apartment overlooked the ocean for years and I observed it for hours and days but only at that instant it stroked me that the Ocean never looked the same. The Ocean was always in movement, wind, waves, swells, tides and had different colours. Often the ocean looked wild and unbalanced; seldom, it looked quiet as a lake.

Suddenly my insight: if the ocean, a powerful state of nature, is influenced by so many other natural factors, like the sky, the moon, the earth, the sun and still going with the flow and adapting, so it is completely natural that me as a human being live extremes but mainly I can keep my balance under constraining influences from an ever evolving world. This was a revelation for me!

My balance kicked in from that moment that I accepted to be like an ocean, unbalanced most of the time but accepting it and not resisting it. The moment I started to honour and acknowledge my unbalance in whatever department of my life, balance would kick in immediately. My rituals and practices became as follows:

• Stop still at the moment I felt a discomfort, unbalance,
• Acknowledge and honour the reason of my unbalance,
• Accept it as part of my human experience on earth.

From the moment I accepted unbalance, I allowed balance to come into my life and take over.

As we say we need to cry to know what laughs means, we need to be sad to understand what happiness is, we need to be unbalanced to welcome balance.

So today I see unbalance as healthy as balance from the moment I am conscious of it.

Therefore there must be unbalance in our private lives, for us to learn to bring them into balance. This can be done with a simple question every time we are invaded by negative thoughts, deeds and the question is:’ how does this serve my balance in life?’

Therefore there must be conflicts and discomfort in teams and companies to be able to bring balance and harmony.

Balance is the result of un-balance. This is what I wish for our society, to stop complaining and indulging in our unbalances but honour them as natural cycle, acknowledging them and mainly acting on them. And my daily drive as a coach is to hold the hand of my client in unbalance/discomfort and open his being to balance in his life.

This article was originally published here, on

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