22 September 2010

Conscious Behaviour

I have been taking more and more interest in the English language and terminology.
I love to decompose the words for a better understanding, it makes complete sense and it brings me to the origin of the word. So if we take the word ‘behaviour’, it is composed of ‘be’ (be) and ‘haviour’(have); and the definition in the dictionary is as follows : a behaviour is a specific response ( action or reaction ) of a certain organism to a specific stimuli or group stimuli.

I understand that as a human being I respond to a stimuli and my response will depend on what I am (be) and what I have (haviour). How interesting! Would that mean that my response as a human being to the exterior world is based on what is happening inside of me now ( what I am and what I have in my body/soul now)?

Does that mean that my response to the exterior world is based on my past experiences (what I was and I what I had)?

Does that mean that if I am coming from a wealthy background as a spoilt child, I will react to the world, based on my experience, expecting the world to serve me?

Does that mean that if I am coming from a disadvantaged background and as an abused child, I will react to the world based on my experience seeing the world as a dangerous and hurtful place to live in?......

Yes, it sounds logic until now but it feels like behaviour becomes an ‘insticnt’.
If we are only acting and reacting to stimuli instinctively, what make the difference between us human being and animals? Nothing! Or maybe the difference is that, as humans, we are born with a developed brain with a capacity to think! What have we done with our will power as a human? What about our reasoning? Are we aware that we have a conscience that we can use? What about acknowledging our humanness and not just react, but stop, think, and take a conscious decision of our behaviours in the world.

Isn’t it all about our respectful profession of coaching? to make our clients aware of their inside world, for them to acknowledge it, to nurture it, to honour it and mainly to take a ‘conscious’ decision if they want to change it or live with it consciously and responsibly. Because it is inside of us and in our hands that lays our powerful potential to stretch ourselves, develop ourselves and be empowered.

In our private lives or in organisations, we still behave and react unconsciously the majority of the time. Our behaviour results often from previous experiences. So next time an exterior experience triggers your behaviour, maybe just ask yourself the following questions:

- What is triggering my reaction?
- Am I reacting to the present situation or to a memory of a previous experience?

Only then you can response to the stimuli in a conscious behaviour and take responsibility in your actions and therefore consequences.

As coaches, we are daily challenged to live in the first part of the word behaviour and ‘be’ totally present with our client, leaving on the side all what we are and have.

On this note, I would leave you to start my morning with a presence exercise that will call ‘me’ in the now and for the day.

This article was originally published here, on Comensa.org.za.

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